Over 99691

Listen Demotivational Poster


TAGS: cute animal listen to me
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by caveman

tomyironmane - July 27, 2013, 10:49 am
At least with this guy, you KNOW he thinks you're nuts.
tellitlikeitis - February 21, 2012, 9:27 pm
So cute.


NOBODY LISTENS TO ME - Until I fart ...

TAGS: nobody listens until i fart
Rating: 4.88/5

More motifakes by Budog

vulture - January 1, 2012, 4:19 am
I love fart jokes! Automatic 5L
Budog - September 5, 2011, 1:15 am
It's not me, it's that ahole talking crap behind my back...
ICEMAN - September 5, 2011, 1:12 am
It's probably the only relevant thing you have to say.

Big Brother -

TAGS: big brother watching listening disappear
Rating: 4.52/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

Pikeman - June 29, 2013, 8:12 pm
Secret courts defeats the purpose of having to get a warrant.
falloutghoul - June 26, 2013, 8:45 am
And all of this is possible AFTER they obtain a warrant.
Cannabal - June 25, 2013, 11:09 pm
Beware the Commie-Nazis!
PapaFox - June 25, 2013, 10:16 pm
Paranoia strikes deep...
Reality Lord - June 25, 2013, 6:50 pm




TAGS: marriage listening
Rating: 4.96/5

More motifakes by Verdeckt

Reality Lord - November 23, 2010, 7:29 pm

the joke...totally owned. 5 solid Lions....more if i could.
spacedog - November 23, 2010, 6:42 pm
Well done. 5L
Faceplant31 - November 23, 2010, 1:16 pm
Solid all around. 5L
crankyhead - November 23, 2010, 1:11 pm

LISTENING SKILL - A good listener is usually thinking about something else.


LJ'S - Women love it when a man gives them a "Listening Job." But men dislike giving them about as much as women dislike giving them it's equivalent.


TAGS: sleep talk wife listen mariand
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by mariand

Yorick - September 29, 2012, 2:53 pm
Nice. She complains about me talking and even jumping out of bed in my sleep. I could really mess with her pretending to be asleep. Why have I not thought of that before? 5L!
mariand - September 28, 2012, 11:09 am
hehehe...it was a time when I was afraid of what I could talk while I was sleeping... but anyway, it can be easily denied.
Bull - September 28, 2012, 10:54 am
Lol, nice. I've been there before.
GaryO - September 28, 2012, 9:04 am
Oh, this is good. Tried that once, years ago….once. She hadn’t developed her sense of humor quite yet. You’d think the velocity of a pillow is rather harmless……not. My ear rang for days.

Loose Change -

TAGS: loose change coins pennies are for your thoughts they don t really listen to
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

Pikeman - June 29, 2013, 8:31 pm
When the value of a dollar was defined as one twentieth of an ounce of gold a penny was worth something.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - June 20, 2013, 6:25 pm
Tried the train thing before, but not the slingsh**.... yet.
Silverheart - June 20, 2013, 6:15 pm
Pennies make decent slingsh** ammo. Also, stacking a penny on a nickle and having a train run over both of them is kinda cool.


TAGS: communication breakdown calendar listen
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

GaryO - March 15, 2012, 7:38 pm
Geez, the pros are out tonight. Nice

CHOOSE YOUR CONVERSATIONS - When the phrase ‘what are you wearing tonight’ is said all guys in the room switch off. When the reply is ‘I don’t know, something slutty maybe’ all guys in the block switch on



TAGS: logicdude 5000 forum posts scratch his belly and listen to him purrr
Rating: 4.11/5

More motifakes by GreyScorpion

LogicDude - January 24, 2010, 9:07 pm
Thanks GS! After naptime I get a cup of applesauce! Nummy!!!

Playing On Paranoia -

WORST DOCTOR - yada yada yada putting words ehre

TAGS: doctor funny comedy i was bored and listening to george carlin while searching google randomly
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by Joshy8632

Iseult2 - February 8, 2012, 9:31 pm
TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimensions in Space, and its camouflage mechanism got stuck in that shape, as a Police Public Telephone Box with a nonfunctional phone in the time period when those were common and he never got around to fixing it.
Me_ - January 4, 2010, 4:56 pm
So what is with all the plain looking females side kicks?
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 2:10 pm
They should have tried that with Daren from Bewitched. lol
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 2:08 pm
You see each time the "Doctor" get seriously injured he has to regenerate and in doing so he takes on a new form and personality. Talk about flawless story telling in my opinion.
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 2:08 pm
Actually 2 hearts. And yes he's a Time Lord AKA time traveller who uses a TARDIS (It's looks like a phone booth) to travel through time. ANd come to think of it David Tennant is no longer Dr. Who. Since Jan 1st it's Matt Smith now.
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 2:03 pm
That's badass. lol Makes me wish I had watched the show. Isn't that the one where the guy is a time traveler with like four hearts?
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 1:59 pm
It's David Tennant the guy that plays Doctor Who in the new remake. It's a double joke for Dr. Who fans.
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 1:34 pm
The empty space at the bottom kinda threw me off, but that's a great Carlin quote...and the pictured gentleman seems to be holding a probe of some kind. 4.5/5 If I could get these lions to cooperate...f*** it, I'll round up.




TAGS: sentry bear listening
Rating: 2.82/5

More motifakes by Ashson

LordKraven - December 31, 2010, 10:12 am
GreyScorpion - December 31, 2010, 9:43 am
phoned in

SPARTAN KICK - .......nice.......

TAGS: sparta leonidas persian palistenian
Rating: 2.07/5

More motifakes by yeodawg@hotmail.com

Bartimaeus - October 24, 2009, 11:13 am
God, now the innuendo jokes will never cease.
Bartimaeus - October 24, 2009, 11:12 am
Where's an uncovered manhole when you need one?...Wait, I'm on motifake. What's a synonym for manhole? 5/5

Listen -

TAGS: listen do you hear it
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 24, 2013, 11:45 am
I'll have to check it out :-)
CloudchaserS - August 24, 2013, 5:25 am
The clock indicates Two Minutes To Midnight, which is also the title of an Iron Maiden song about impending doom that references the Doomsday Clock.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 24, 2013, 3:44 am
Iron maiden?
CloudchaserS - August 24, 2013, 1:45 am
Am I the only one who sees the Iron Maiden reference?
GaryO - August 23, 2013, 9:18 pm
Naw, I don’t…. tinnitus. But I feel it. Where’s my new year’s whistle…
Sho - August 23, 2013, 2:57 pm
lgvernon - August 23, 2013, 1:45 pm

Oh yeah, I hear it. Sounds like an oncoming train. 5Ls


TAGS: double negatives illegal clauses listen carefully or you re screwed
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

EmilioDumphque - May 20, 2014, 6:20 pm
The double negative makes it perfect.

Condensed Version -


TAGS: listen and learn
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by Airman

culos - December 4, 2010, 6:31 pm
las barbas grises>>>>
rerun - December 4, 2010, 6:20 pm

does the band have a name?
culos - December 4, 2010, 5:45 pm
I've put a suggestion for a new number for the band in the 'Off topic' thread in the forum
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 5:22 pm
MY band will work on a few new songs... something from the Sneaker Pimps, perhaps.
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 5:21 pm
You can be my helper Culos...you get the rear sh**s and I'll get the front sh**s, k.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 5:08 pm
Who else is going to capture the up***** potrion of the reception?
culos - December 4, 2010, 5:05 pm
So I guess I'm not invited???
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 5:01 pm
Mazel tov!
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 5:00 pm
Until you pop, yes.
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:59 pm
Why, is Sister Mary Ann going to hold her breath?
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:57 pm
By the end of the night, it'll be Blue Nun!
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:53 pm
Manischewitz or Christian Brothers, it's all good to me!
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:48 pm
And by the way...that way don't have to ask them to say cheese, it saves time so we can drink.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:48 pm
They're not having her wedding in Massachusetts, so yes... there will have to be at least 2.
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:46 pm
Wait a minute there....you mean there is going to be guys at the wedding?
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:44 pm
Great.... There isn't going to be a single head sh**.
rerun - December 4, 2010, 4:43 pm

sweet, now all IO need is that Japanese dude from Hawaii to make the sushi.
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:42 pm
I'm there baby!
rerun - December 4, 2010, 4:42 pm

you want to be the ph**ographer?
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:41 pm
Hey can I be part of the road crew. I'd like to see what a Philippine American Catholic Jewish wedding looks like.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:38 pm
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:36 pm
Unplugged, cause no Father of the Bride escapes a rich man...I like it!
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:33 pm
We do a ballad version, yes.
BoneCD - December 4, 2010, 4:28 pm
I hear they play a mean version of "If I Were A Rich Man" in C minor (C for Catholic)!
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 4:09 pm
I'm partial to quinceanera's and bachelorette parties, but I certainly can make an exception... albeit I try to stay at least 300 miles north of the border... just for safety.
rerun - December 4, 2010, 4:07 pm

can your band play at my daughters wedding?
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:40 pm
Indeed, cranky... Pamela put the "D" in Hep-C
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:38 pm
Def. Def Leppard. Del Leppard is my mariachi cover band. We do a great rendition of Fuegomania.
crankyhead - December 4, 2010, 3:38 pm
tommy lee did ok for a while
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:37 pm
Even Del Leppard's Rick Allen had a chick to hold in his arm.
rerun - December 4, 2010, 3:36 pm

Ringo....OK, do drummers ever get the chicks?
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:27 pm
The way you describe it, it sorta sounds respectable.
crankyhead - December 4, 2010, 3:16 pm
complete with bunny ears and everything, doing laps around the fountains at the bellagio.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:15 pm
If it's while I'm chasing a woman in garter belt and thigh-highs, then your image is pretty accurate. Almost every sunday.
crankyhead - December 4, 2010, 3:13 pm
i have this image in my head now of you getting chased by a bunch of british cops in fast forward set to music from the benny hill show.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 3:07 pm
Most of them are interpol and csi:svu, but yeah... I guess that is something great.
crankyhead - December 4, 2010, 3:03 pm
hated? gimme a break. every time you log on aggy, 100 people smile.
agdaniele - December 4, 2010, 2:56 pm
I should be dead in RL, but here? Hated, but not dead.
Donkasaurus - December 4, 2010, 2:53 pm
LOL! aggy, conveniently enough you're in the same spot John Lennon is on the album. Re-run you're where George was so you're dead too sorry pal :(
Donkasaurus - December 4, 2010, 2:51 pm
rerun, you can be ringo.
agdaniele - November 16, 2010, 8:38 pm
you're off the hook, rerun.
agdaniele - November 16, 2010, 8:38 pm
I should've been sh** already, soooo....
rerun - November 16, 2010, 7:40 pm

If we are going to be compared to "them", can I at least be one of the living ones?
Derek - November 16, 2010, 7:23 pm
I take it you've visited Apple.com recently?

WE HAVE - Two Ears And One Mouth So That We Can listen Twice As Much As We Speak

TAGS: listen speak have
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by mommakaboom

mommakaboom - October 3, 2012, 9:23 pm
No Doubt...
jejeloman - October 3, 2012, 9:04 pm
I'm not sure many people know this...


TAGS: may challenge easy listening muzak
Rating: 4.36/5

More motifakes by sickartist

Mooooooooooooooooooo - May 28, 2010, 9:30 am
Says who? 5L


TAGS: easy listening with cab calloway
Rating: 4.33/5

More motifakes by Airman

agdaniele - May 28, 2010, 7:52 pm
See, Airman GETS me! LOL!

L•Y•I•N•G - Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.


TAGS: the b**** she never listens to what i want
Rating: 3.8/5

More motifakes by BoneCD

spacedog - March 31, 2011, 8:57 pm
Current Resident - December 3, 2009, 9:40 pm
I am so happy to be here I could just ****! Very funny picture. 5L
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 10:03 am
L8TR guys, Got to prepare for the BIG GAME (Ohio State vs. Michigan)Beers are poppin' already!
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 9:13 am
Well, I wasn't particularly nasty. I just walked up to this one biker chick and said "Will you bare my child?" Yes, it was juvenile...but you don't know until you ask.
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 9:11 am
If you say something incredible nasty...they will just walk over and whisper something in their guys ear. At that point you'd better run!
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 9:07 am
Good luck with that Bart...most biker chicks I've met with grab your figs until you turn blue if you say something nasty to them. If the men walk over it's just to acknowledge to her that they see that everything is under control
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 8:50 am
A great thing about biker chicks is that they are a lot less likely to slap a guy. Honestly, you can say ANYTHING to almost ANY random woman on a Harley. It's there husbands you have to worry about...
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 8:47 am
Ziiiiiiiing....I deserve that for the fat fingers
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 8:46 am
I was hoping you were riding on bile, like Osmosis Jones. lol
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 8:44 am
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 8:43 am
OK the, I'm not a Super Hero, I'm just a nice guy on a bile....LMAO
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 8:37 am
eerrrr...if you didn't notice, there's a second possibility there. jk Bikers, the majority of them, are alright. I don't ride one myself, but I've been to a couple rallies.
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 8:34 am
then I must be a Super Hero cause I have been riding steel since before you were born
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 8:32 am
Why would you want a motorcycle? Cartoons have taught me that ponies can fly and **** rainbows. Imagine how easy it is to clean up after them. Besides, motorcycles...unless you're a superhero, they're usually as indication of douche-itude.
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 8:29 am
But I'd rather have a Motorcycle then a Pony
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 7:43 am
You realize what I'm implying there with "you should try it." Right? jk
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 7:33 am
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 7:32 am
The surgery isn't as painful as people make it out to be. You should try it. lol
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 7:32 am
BoneCD - November 21, 2009, 7:31 am
Wait a minuet there Bart...you use to be a little girl?
Bartimaeus - November 21, 2009, 7:15 am
Ah, memories. Try the veal. 5/5
giulio - November 21, 2009, 5:04 am
Great. 5L!

LISTEN - to them the children of the night What sweet music they make while I Feast on your bodies

TAGS: listen
Rating: 3.75/5

More motifakes by NoBodyZ


TAGS: american idol simon paula randy all morons why do we listen
Rating: 2.71/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

BOHICA - September 30, 2009, 1:48 am
Such animosity, lulz? Its not like I said he wasn't entertaining.
agdaniele - September 29, 2009, 11:44 pm
Moderator? Can we get a ruling on lulz?
MrRandom - September 29, 2009, 11:42 pm
I enjoy watching how crazy he can get on air personally.
lulz - September 29, 2009, 11:41 pm
what you got against Glenn Beck you stupid anime faggot
MO - September 29, 2009, 10:49 pm
Simon is the reason I don't watch. As a matter of fact, that eurotard is #2 on my list of what's wrong with this country...over inflated douche bag.
Bartimaeus - September 29, 2009, 10:04 pm
Yeah, Douches are fun to watch. I think that's why Glen Beck is still on the air.
Derek - September 29, 2009, 9:57 pm
Usually, Simon is the only reason to watch.
Bartimaeus - September 29, 2009, 7:18 pm
oops. God! I can't believe I did that! I forgot to log in...
spacedog - September 29, 2009, 7:11 pm
You sent them anon. too Bart.
Bartimaeus - September 29, 2009, 7:10 pm
Crap! A godd*** typo!

Thoughtful -

TAGS: inner reflection listening
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

GaryO - September 2, 2015, 10:59 am
fav (duh)...a great lol to start my morn. Now to clean up.

There's a bathroom on the right... -

Stand tall And keep your chin up -